Discussing the vast amounts of clothing I’ve accumulated…
Me: But I’m pretty sure [Joserisms] has more clothes than I do.
Student: Dang! You guys are like Barbie and Ken!
Want to know why my class is SO STINKING AMAZING?!
They’ve been planning a surprise bridal shower for weeks!
Let me give you the run down… Yesterday a mom took me out to a nice lunch for “teacher appreciation week” (aka time for the kids to decorate). I was a bit surprised that the principal approved it, and even more surprised to find we were eating out at a restaurant over 30 minutes away!
After a long leisurely lunch (with creme brulee to top it all off), we FINALLY got back to the school only to find out that my class was in the gym helping the P.E. teacher with stuff. I walked over there to get my class, and that’s when it all happened….
A mom of a student, who was claiming to be my sister, shoved a flyer in my face. It read:
Complete Wedding Packages
Starting at just $49.95
(Includes matching wedding attire, floral design, hair & makeup, music, but NOT reception)
I was shoved in a chair by a student who proceeded to do my hair and makeup. After 3 or 4 eyeshadow colors being added to my face, my hair was teased all the way to heaven. Quickly after, two of my girls introduced themselves as my wedding dress designers. They did a fantastic job with less than two toilet paper rolls! At least I thought so since no mirrors were included in the package.
Next, my wedding coordinator (played by our lovely 5th grade teacher who happens to have a mean Southern accent when she wants to), introduced me to my “mail order bridesmaids” complete with tablecloth bridesmaid dresses and some amazing 80s hair.
We were then all thrown in a back room where I found out the principal was playing the role of my father (though he wouldn’t stand too close because he must have thought I looked diseased). I was handed a bouquet of weeds complete with roots, and the music began.
I shuffled down the aisle only to find Joserisms up front waiting for me. I also found a mirror… Anyways, one of my boys played the pastor, and I HAVE to share his script with you!
Friends, we have been invited here today to share with [Joserisms] and Miss At a very important moment in their lives. So, who’s kicking this woman out of the house?
(This is when the principal offered his blessing with far too much enthusiasm)
Thank you. Now, congratulations on the termination of your isolation, and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination.
We then read the vows “we” had prepared for each other. The kids found a mad libs wedding vow format they filled out complete with fart, puke, and Mexican food references.
Finally after an exchange of Ring Pops, we were told we could shake each other’s hands and be officially presented as the almost Mr. & Mrs.
The kids were AMAZING! For our “wedding” gifts, they each brought in recipes, each gave a date night idea for our Can of Dates they created, and gave us $150 for Home Depot!!! Is it possible for a school day to get any better than this?!
I am SO blessed to have such amazing students and parents of students who worked so hard putting together such a fun party. I couldn’t imagine a bridal shower/mock wedding being any better than this.
I’m telling you, 8th graders are the coolest! Also, here’s a picture of the bride and groom…